We are living through a period that, for many, feels deeply unsettled. News cycles are saturated with conflict and instability – from the violence affecting people in Iran, Palestine and beyond, to economic strain, political tension, and rising costs of living here in the UK. Even when we try to switch off, there’s often a lingering sense that the ground beneath us is shifting.
At the same time, life doesn’t pause. Alongside global events, many people are navigating deeply personal transitions: changing/losing jobs, becoming parents, navigating breakups, moving home, or facing unexpected changes in health and relationships. Some of these changes are welcome, even joyful, but they still carry uncertainty. And uncertainty, whether global or personal, has a powerful impact on how we feel and how we cope.
Why uncertainty affects us so deeply
Human beings are wired to seek safety and predictability. When those are disrupted, the nervous system moves into a state of heightened alert. You might notice this as restlessness, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, or a low-level sense of dread. In that state of mind, it’s entirely natural to look for relief.
For many people, that relief can take the form of compulsive behaviours – patterns that offer temporary comfort or escape but may come with longer-term consequences. These can include alcohol or drug use, gambling, shopping, or food-related behaviours. It also includes compulsive sexual behaviour, including problematic use of pornography (often referred to as sex or porn addiction).
It’s important to understand that these behaviours are not simply about pleasure. More often, they are about regulation. They can provide a quick shift in emotional state, a sense of control, or a temporary refuge from uncertainty.
The pull of compulsive sexual behaviours
Pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviours can be particularly powerful coping strategies because they are often immediate, accessible, and highly effective at changing how we feel, at least in the short term.
In moments of stress or uncertainty, they can:
Create a sense of predictability when life feels chaoticOffer distraction from difficult thoughts or emotionsProvide a temporary feeling of calm or reliefAllow a sense of control in an otherwise uncontrollable situationSeen through this lens, the behaviour makes sense. It is your system trying to cope with something that feels overwhelming.
But over time, what begins as a coping strategy can become a cycle that is hard to step out of. The relief is temporary, and it is often followed by feelings such as guilt, shame, or disconnection which can, in turn, drive the urge to seek relief again.
When the world feels uncertain, so do we
The current global climate can amplify this cycle. When the wider world feels unstable, it can erode our internal sense of safety. Even if the events we’re seeing don’t directly affect our day-to-day lives, they can still shape our emotional landscape.
Closer to home, uncertainty might look like:
Financial pressure or job insecurityChanges in relationships or family dynamicsMajor life transitions, such as becoming a parent or moving homeEven positive changes can feel destabilising. A new job, for example, might bring excitement alongside self-doubt. A new relationship might bring joy alongside vulnerability. These experiences stretch us, and in doing so, they can activate old coping patterns.
It’s common during these times to notice a resurgence of behaviours you thought you had moved beyond. This is not a sign of failure. It’s a sign that you might just need more support.
Moving away from shame
One of the most difficult aspects of compulsive sexual behaviour is the shame that often accompanies it. Many people carry a harsh internal narrative: I should be able to control this. What’s wrong with me?
But shame tends to keep the cycle going. It pushes the behaviour further into secrecy and makes it harder to seek support or reflect on what’s really happening.
A more helpful starting point is to shift from judgment to curiosity. Instead of asking, “Why do I keep doing this?”, it can be more useful to ask, “What was going on for me just before this happens? How did I feel?”
Often, beneath the behaviour, there are feelings such as loneliness, depression, stress, or uncertainty. When we begin to recognise this, the behaviour becomes less of a mystery and more of a signal.
Finding stability in unstable times
Managing compulsive behaviours during periods of uncertainty is not about eliminating urges entirely. It’s about creating enough stability that you don’t have to rely on them as your primary source of comfort. This often begins with small, consistent steps.
For example, paying attention to the basics – sleep, food, movement, and time away from constant news or digital stimulation – can have a surprisingly powerful effect on emotional regulation. These are not quick fixes, but they create a foundation that makes everything else more manageable.
Another key shift is learning to pause. Compulsive behaviours tend to happen quickly, almost automatically. Introducing even a brief moment of awareness – stepping into another room, taking a few breaths, or simply acknowledging “I’m having an urge right now” – can begin to loosen that automatic pattern.
Over time, it also becomes important to build alternative ways of soothing yourself. If the behaviour has been meeting a need, that need doesn’t disappear, it just needs to be met differently. This might involve finding ways to relax, connect, or switch off that feel less harmful and more sustainable.
The importance of connection
Compulsive behaviours often thrive in isolation. The more alone we feel, the more likely we are to turn inward and rely on familiar coping strategies.
Breaking that isolation, even in small ways, can make a significant difference. This doesn’t necessarily mean sharing everything immediately, but it might involve speaking to a therapist, reaching out to a friend or family member you trust, or simply allowing yourself to be a little more visible in your struggles.
Being met with understanding rather than judgment can reduce the intensity of both shame and urges.
Planning for vulnerable moments
Uncertainty tends to create patterns in our behaviour. You might notice that urges are stronger at certain times – perhaps late at night, after a stressful day, or when you’re alone.
Gently identifying these moments allows you to prepare for them. That might mean structuring your time differently, changing your environment, or simply being more aware of what you need in those moments.
This isn’t about restriction or rigid control. It’s about giving yourself support where you’re most likely to need it.
Compassion over perfection
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the goal is to “get it right” – to eliminate the behaviour completely. But recovery, especially in uncertain times, rarely looks like that.
There may be setbacks. There may be days when old habits resurface. What matters is how you respond to those moments.
A compassionate approach recognises that:
Seeking comfort is a natural human responseChange takes time, especially when patterns are deeply ingrainedProgress is often gradual, not linearWhen you respond to yourself with understanding rather than criticism, you make it more likely that you’ll stay engaged in the process of change.
Living with uncertainty
We cannot remove uncertainty from the world. The global situation may remain complex and unpredictable, and personal life will always involve change.
But we can develop a different relationship with that uncertainty.
Instead of relying solely on behaviours that offer short-term relief, it becomes possible -slowly, and with support – to build ways of coping that feel steadier and more connected.
If you find yourself struggling with compulsive behaviours right now, particularly around sex or pornography, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human, navigating a difficult moment in a difficult world.
And with the right support, awareness, and compassion, it is possible to find a different way through – one that doesn’t depend on escaping uncertainty, but on learning how to live alongside it.
Need support?
If you’ve been struggling with compulsive sexual behaviours and would like support, reach out to us via our Talk to a Therapist service. You might also be interested in our Kick Start workshop which is a a fast, expert-led way to stop feeling lost or stuck in your behaviours.
